Oderus Urungus - GWAR
Alright, so as you may know, the mighty GWAR has a new record coming out this week (Nov.9), which also signifies the second year of the double GWAR-anniversary , which celebrates the unfreezing of our lords and masters by Sleazy P. Martini some 25 (26 now) years ago. The music contained in “Bloody Pit of Horror” is pretty much what you would expect,….pure genius. It’s heavy, brutal, and at times, completely ridiculous, but in a good way. Of course, I wouldn’t expect anything less from our intergalactic heroes. There is a reason why GWAR have remained a staple of the heavy metal community, because nobody can do what they do, and we couldn’t live without them. I, for one, don’t know how my life would have turned out had I not had my ear holes raped by Oderus and company so many years ago. ‘Twas my pleasure to speak with the ever so wise front-thing of GWAR when they released “Lust in Space” last year, as well as when they swung through Mobile, Alabama this past summer. Now, as if we haven’t already given you enough GWAR coverage, we at Metal Exiles have completed a trilogy of interviews with sir Oderus Urungus that are as epic and pointless as any great trilogy. Educate yourselves, all while somehow becoming much dumber, as you read on.
Another Pointless Conversation with Oderus Urungus
Conducted by Rob ”Bubbs” Harris
Metal Exiles: Greetings, mighty space lord. How are you enjoying year two of your double anniversary?
Oderus: I’m sick of the whole thing. It’s quite tiresome and boring to me now. I realize now that this self indulgent celebration of our 25th anniversary, stretched into two years was quite stupid. You see, it is now our 26th anniversary and we’re not even celebrating it. I guess we didn’t think that one through.
Metal Exiles: Yet, here we are, still talking about this 26th anniversary stuff. Oh well. By the way, you’re probably wondering why the same dude from metal Exiles keeps wanting to interview you.
Oderus: Yes! Why the fuck do I keep having to talk to you? You know, I try to be as abusive and demeaning as possible when speaking to you journalists, so that I won’t have to deal with you again. What’s the fucking story with you?
Metal Exiles: I like to help keep the good people informed about what’s happening with GWAR is all.
Oderus: Oh, well, we appreciate that. It’s always good when you humans show an interest in spreading the mythos of GWAR far and wide. That saves us money on promotion, which then goes to support my raging crack addiction. 99% of GWAR’s profits are spent solely on my drug habit. The other 1% is spent on promotion, and if anything is left, the rest of the band can have it, but nobody had better fuck with me about getting any of my crack money.
Metal Exiles: Before we get to the important topics, let’s talk about GWAR’s music. I have heard the new record, and am quite pleased with it. It is my opinion that it has a very classic GWAR sound, reminiscent of what you were doing those 26 years ago. Still, no matter what you do from album to album, there is always that distinct sound to your music. It has been tried, and is proven to work.
Oderus: Yes, the new record “Bloody Pit of Horror” is indeed quite the masterpiece, as with each and every GWAR album. I too am quite please with it. However, I am pleased with everything I do because I am so perfect in every way. With GWAR, I think we were able to succeed where so many bands have failed. You see, most heavy metal bands are good at first, but then they start to suck. In the case of GWAR, we just keep getting better and better. Henceforth, we shall never suck. It’s just that simple.
Metal Exiles: Speaking of bands starting out good and then sucking after a few albums, I have a theory that I wan to test here. There have been several deaths within the world of heavy metal over the past two years. Coincidentally, that all started when GWAR began the two year anniversary. Now, I know you had nothing to do with Dio or Peter Steele, but what about the dudes from Slipknot and Avenged Sevenfold? Both of those bands started out pretty alright, but after a couple albums they began writing ballads and changing up their style from record to record, smearing the good name of heavy metal in the process. Is GWAR, in fact, behind these strange and sudden “Drug Overdoses“, or is it simply coincidence?
Oderus: Actually, we had nothing to do with it, other than the fact that we are known to have a reckless and destructive lifestyle. We do more drugs and fuck more women, or whatever else, than anybody, and when those who can’t hang try to keep up with GWAR, their bodies can’t take it and this is what occurs. No, we were not involved in those deaths at all. We have enough people to kill already. It is strange that this all started when we began the double anniversary thing though.
Metal Exiles: Alright, moving on. I like that you titled the new album “Bloody Pit of Horror”, as that pretty much sums up what it is to experience GWAR, either sonically or, especially, live.
Oderus: Exactly. We pride ourselves on bringing you pesky humans the greatest live show you are likely to see, ever. Each and every GWAR show is a “Bloody Pit of Horror”, and the fact that we play the sickest and most brutal heavy metal music known to this planet helps with that.
Metal Exiles: You know, I just now came to the realization that GWAR doesn’t entertain us, but we entertain GWAR. I mean, there we are, lined up before you to receive blasts of piss, jizz, blood and whatever else we might be doused with, all with smiles on our faces.
Oderus: Yes, it is quite entertaining to us. I’m just surprised that, after all these years, you people are still stupid enough to give us money to kill you each and every night. But, at the same time, if you’re going to insist on paying us and supporting my outrageous crack habit, then we feel it is our duty to kill you in style by providing the sickest and most gruesome experience possible. You’re welcome.
Metal Exiles: While we’re on the subject of entertainment. GWAR and yourself have been popping up on television a lot lately. You are a regular on RedEye, and you recently played “Zombies, March!” on Jimmy Fallon, which it must have taken great self control not to kill that guy. The first time we talked, we spoke about the possibility of Oderus or GWAR getting a show of your own. Have you since decided that it makes no sense to have just one show on television, when you can just be on them all?
Oderus: Yes, we have been doing all kinds of cool things in the world of television and film. It seems that the world just can’t get enough of GWAR. It is our plan to have made at least one cameo or guest appearance on each and every television show, or in every film there is. I mean, why the hell wouldn’t anybody want to see GWAR on tv? We’re sexy as hell, and sex sells buddy.
Metal Exiles: Sure. You know, I hope you don’t mind me saying so, but for a creature of several million years, your ass is as taught and firm as an eleven year old boy’s. What’s your secret?
Oderus: Well, as I said before, I am perfect in every way. I don’t have to do anything to maintain it. I am just that fucking sexy. Also, I am still a mere adolescent where I’m from. Scumdog years are kind of like dog years, but instead of a seven year difference, it’s a couple million. I still have much growing and learning to do before I reach my full potential. When that happens, watch out. I’m not sure this planet can handle a combination of sexiness and brutality of that magnitude.
Metal Exiles: Still on the subject of asses, the midterm elections are over, and I still haven’t seen your name on any ballots. When will you, or any member of GWAR run for office, or are you waiting for Arnold Shwarzenegger to die so you can be the new God?
Oderus: No, we don’t subscribe to politics in any way. We think it is lame and we refuse to participate in any of it. Plus, we are already Gods, so we don’t need to be involved in politics to fucking rule you people. We’ve been doing a pretty good job of that so far on our own.
Metal Exiles: So, Miley Cyrus is a slut now. Stoked?
Oderus: Well, Miley has always been a filthy whore. In fact, her father has been fucking the shit out of her each and every day since birth, preparing her for just the right time to unleash her gaping and disease infested vaginal cave upon the world. I know this because Balsac is their sex therapist. He actually holds Billy Ray Cyrus’ enormous testicular sack and shoves his tongue in Miley’s asshole while her dad fucks her. It’s a very delicate process.
(Well, good readers, this was about the time something fucked up with my recorder, and the rest of the interview was lost. It was pretty much over anyway, so screw it. I hope you enjoyed this to some extent. Don’t fear, I will surely be speaking to Oderus again in the future. When I do, you know where you can find it. -Bubbs)
Buy “Bloody Pit of Horror”
Official GWAR site
Another Pointless Conversation with Oderus Urungus
Conducted by Rob ”Bubbs” Harris
Metal Exiles: Greetings, mighty space lord. How are you enjoying year two of your double anniversary?
Oderus: I’m sick of the whole thing. It’s quite tiresome and boring to me now. I realize now that this self indulgent celebration of our 25th anniversary, stretched into two years was quite stupid. You see, it is now our 26th anniversary and we’re not even celebrating it. I guess we didn’t think that one through.
Metal Exiles: Yet, here we are, still talking about this 26th anniversary stuff. Oh well. By the way, you’re probably wondering why the same dude from metal Exiles keeps wanting to interview you.
Oderus: Yes! Why the fuck do I keep having to talk to you? You know, I try to be as abusive and demeaning as possible when speaking to you journalists, so that I won’t have to deal with you again. What’s the fucking story with you?
Metal Exiles: I like to help keep the good people informed about what’s happening with GWAR is all.
Oderus: Oh, well, we appreciate that. It’s always good when you humans show an interest in spreading the mythos of GWAR far and wide. That saves us money on promotion, which then goes to support my raging crack addiction. 99% of GWAR’s profits are spent solely on my drug habit. The other 1% is spent on promotion, and if anything is left, the rest of the band can have it, but nobody had better fuck with me about getting any of my crack money.
Metal Exiles: Before we get to the important topics, let’s talk about GWAR’s music. I have heard the new record, and am quite pleased with it. It is my opinion that it has a very classic GWAR sound, reminiscent of what you were doing those 26 years ago. Still, no matter what you do from album to album, there is always that distinct sound to your music. It has been tried, and is proven to work.
Oderus: Yes, the new record “Bloody Pit of Horror” is indeed quite the masterpiece, as with each and every GWAR album. I too am quite please with it. However, I am pleased with everything I do because I am so perfect in every way. With GWAR, I think we were able to succeed where so many bands have failed. You see, most heavy metal bands are good at first, but then they start to suck. In the case of GWAR, we just keep getting better and better. Henceforth, we shall never suck. It’s just that simple.
Metal Exiles: Speaking of bands starting out good and then sucking after a few albums, I have a theory that I wan to test here. There have been several deaths within the world of heavy metal over the past two years. Coincidentally, that all started when GWAR began the two year anniversary. Now, I know you had nothing to do with Dio or Peter Steele, but what about the dudes from Slipknot and Avenged Sevenfold? Both of those bands started out pretty alright, but after a couple albums they began writing ballads and changing up their style from record to record, smearing the good name of heavy metal in the process. Is GWAR, in fact, behind these strange and sudden “Drug Overdoses“, or is it simply coincidence?
Oderus: Actually, we had nothing to do with it, other than the fact that we are known to have a reckless and destructive lifestyle. We do more drugs and fuck more women, or whatever else, than anybody, and when those who can’t hang try to keep up with GWAR, their bodies can’t take it and this is what occurs. No, we were not involved in those deaths at all. We have enough people to kill already. It is strange that this all started when we began the double anniversary thing though.
Metal Exiles: Alright, moving on. I like that you titled the new album “Bloody Pit of Horror”, as that pretty much sums up what it is to experience GWAR, either sonically or, especially, live.
Oderus: Exactly. We pride ourselves on bringing you pesky humans the greatest live show you are likely to see, ever. Each and every GWAR show is a “Bloody Pit of Horror”, and the fact that we play the sickest and most brutal heavy metal music known to this planet helps with that.
Metal Exiles: You know, I just now came to the realization that GWAR doesn’t entertain us, but we entertain GWAR. I mean, there we are, lined up before you to receive blasts of piss, jizz, blood and whatever else we might be doused with, all with smiles on our faces.
Oderus: Yes, it is quite entertaining to us. I’m just surprised that, after all these years, you people are still stupid enough to give us money to kill you each and every night. But, at the same time, if you’re going to insist on paying us and supporting my outrageous crack habit, then we feel it is our duty to kill you in style by providing the sickest and most gruesome experience possible. You’re welcome.
Metal Exiles: While we’re on the subject of entertainment. GWAR and yourself have been popping up on television a lot lately. You are a regular on RedEye, and you recently played “Zombies, March!” on Jimmy Fallon, which it must have taken great self control not to kill that guy. The first time we talked, we spoke about the possibility of Oderus or GWAR getting a show of your own. Have you since decided that it makes no sense to have just one show on television, when you can just be on them all?
Oderus: Yes, we have been doing all kinds of cool things in the world of television and film. It seems that the world just can’t get enough of GWAR. It is our plan to have made at least one cameo or guest appearance on each and every television show, or in every film there is. I mean, why the hell wouldn’t anybody want to see GWAR on tv? We’re sexy as hell, and sex sells buddy.
Metal Exiles: Sure. You know, I hope you don’t mind me saying so, but for a creature of several million years, your ass is as taught and firm as an eleven year old boy’s. What’s your secret?
Oderus: Well, as I said before, I am perfect in every way. I don’t have to do anything to maintain it. I am just that fucking sexy. Also, I am still a mere adolescent where I’m from. Scumdog years are kind of like dog years, but instead of a seven year difference, it’s a couple million. I still have much growing and learning to do before I reach my full potential. When that happens, watch out. I’m not sure this planet can handle a combination of sexiness and brutality of that magnitude.
Metal Exiles: Still on the subject of asses, the midterm elections are over, and I still haven’t seen your name on any ballots. When will you, or any member of GWAR run for office, or are you waiting for Arnold Shwarzenegger to die so you can be the new God?
Oderus: No, we don’t subscribe to politics in any way. We think it is lame and we refuse to participate in any of it. Plus, we are already Gods, so we don’t need to be involved in politics to fucking rule you people. We’ve been doing a pretty good job of that so far on our own.
Metal Exiles: So, Miley Cyrus is a slut now. Stoked?
Oderus: Well, Miley has always been a filthy whore. In fact, her father has been fucking the shit out of her each and every day since birth, preparing her for just the right time to unleash her gaping and disease infested vaginal cave upon the world. I know this because Balsac is their sex therapist. He actually holds Billy Ray Cyrus’ enormous testicular sack and shoves his tongue in Miley’s asshole while her dad fucks her. It’s a very delicate process.
(Well, good readers, this was about the time something fucked up with my recorder, and the rest of the interview was lost. It was pretty much over anyway, so screw it. I hope you enjoyed this to some extent. Don’t fear, I will surely be speaking to Oderus again in the future. When I do, you know where you can find it. -Bubbs)
Buy “Bloody Pit of Horror”
Official GWAR site
