Oderus Urungus - GWAR
A Fireside Chat with Oderus Urungus - GWAR
The last time I was awarded the dubious pleasure of interviewing Oderus Urungus, things were taken to a level that most GWAR interviews could only wish to reach. Still, not satisfied with leaving things as they were, which was in complete devastation, I decided that the metal community deserved more punishment at the hands of GWAR and myself. Lucky for me, the mighty GWAR invaded the Alabama town of Mobile, giving me a chance to reunite with my long lost lord to speak of things that you have only wondered in the dark recesses of your mind, as well as to take some photographs of their exploits to share with the rest of you pesky humans. What follows is not for the faint of heart.
Words and Photos by Rob”Bubbs”Harris
Metal Exiles: Thank you for taking some time away from your crack, or whatever other homoerotic shit you have planned, to chat with me.
Oderus: I never shy away from press, human. You never know, this could lead to some sort of sexual gratification in the future, or possibly a drug hook up or invitation to a barbeque. You never know where life might lead you, so why not?
Metal Exiles: A Gwar-B-Q does sound like fun.
Oderus: Well, we encourage GWAR fans to have their own GWAR-B-Q’s using the burning flesh of their own families. However, we are going to have a big party of that nature soon in a town called Richmond, which is home to one of the biggest slave pits known to this planet. I also have word that that DBX band and some group called X-Cops are going to play, but since they will probably never do this again, they will combine themselves and call it DBX-Cops. We’re all very excited about that,.….I think.
Metal Exiles: It’s been a while since we last spoke. Tell me, how is year two of the two-year twenty-fifth anniversary going?
Oderus: We aren’t even at year two yet. I refuse to believe that year one is over. It did not officially start until we put out Lust in Space, which was released in August of last year, I believe, so we are barely reaching the end of year one. Year two will be just as exciting. We plan on releasing another genius album upon you in the fall, which will usher in the second year of the anniversary celebration.
Metal Exiles: With the 25th Anniversary and Lust in Space to currently promote, how do you go about picking out set lists? That must be difficult, what with every single GWAR tune being a timeless classic.
Oderus: It is no problem at all because I know them all perfectly. We don’t need a fucking setlist! I’m so good that all I have to do is just walk out onstage and look at Balsac, and he looks back at me and instantaneously communicates the entire set list to me with one beguiling look from his roomy bloodshot eyes. It’s just that simple, and we are perfect every night. R. Kelly has nothing on me. Whitney Houston has nothing on me, except that she might be more fucked up on crack than I am.
Metal Exiles: She’s definitely up there on the list of biggest crackheads on Earth.
Oderus: I would smoke Whitney Houston if I had the chance. I don’t mean like put a pistol to her head and pull the trigger, but I would literally smoke her.
Metal Exiles: Well, if Cardinal Sinn succeeds in ridding Earth of crack, as he has done throughout the rest of the universe, you might have to resort to smoking Whitney Houston.
Oderus: It could very well come down to that, where one of the last remaining things on this planet that would get you high would be the body of Whitney Houston. You’d might have to save it, like the sacrament of a dead saint, and little bits of Whitney Houston’s body would be distributed around the world.
Metal Exiles: That could be. I think Bobby Brown would be like the brown acid in that situation. “Don’t smoke the Bobby Brown!”
Oderus: Right, and who would want to? With Whitney, people could come up and lick her skin, almost like a religious festival or something, but instead of kissing the feet of Jesus, people line up to lick Whitney Houston’s withered nub and get high as a motherfucker. With Bobby Brown, you would lick his nub and it would make you want to beat your wife.
Metal Exiles: It’ll do that. Bobby Brown seems to have that effect on people.
Oderus: Yes, he inspires violence. In the beginning, he inspired joy, love, romance and the Ghostbusters, then something took a terrible turn for the worse. Oh Bobby, we hardly knew ye.
Metal Exiles: Let’s take things down a notch shall we? With the passing of Ronnie James Dio, who was one of the last truly magical beings left, how much pressure does that pout on GWAR, knowing that the fate of the world now rests entirely on your shoulders?
Oderus: I like to refer to him as one of the last of the truly old. Many people don’t know this, but he was actually several million years old. Some think that he was actually part Scumdog, and had fallen to Earth many many centuries ago. He was indeed the embodiment of Satan and a sexual juggernaut. Between the passing of him and Pete Steele, I just don’t know what the young ladies of this planet will have to shove into their gaping vaginas now. What will they do? They don’t have Ronnie James Dio’s horse leg, nor do they have Peter Steele’s Nubian python. As far as the pressure goes, the fate of Earth has always rested on GWAR’s shoulders, we just have to work a little bit harder now. Ronnie and Pete were good at going out and boosting morale for the troops before GWAR went into battle. They were great metallic brethren, and there will be much fan fair and rejoicing as they pass on to the pimply side of Valhala. You lost some real quality there. When the guy from Slipknot died, it was tragic and all, but it was just the bass player. It doesn’t really have too much effect on the existence of the band. Ronnie and Pete were the center of their things, and it really sucks to know that they are gone. (tear)
Metal Exiles: What are your thoughts on the Christian radicals that dared to picket the memorial service of RJD?
Oderus: I think Ronnie would have loved it! I think that, if Ronnie hadn’t attracted some kind of Christian outpouring of misguided hate, he wouldn’t have been doing his job. Ronnie would probably be happy to know that he can still enrage ignorant people everywhere.
Metal Exiles: I am please to see that GWAR have finally made an official trip here to the Gulf Coast to take a look at the damage caused by the BP oil spill. Now, everybody seems to have a theory about this being some form of conspiracy. If I were to guess anything, I would say that BP was in kahoots with Sinn, and this oil spill is just a way to create extra lube for the continual rape of our planet.
Oderus: I’m not so sure about that. Yes, there is a lot of lube, but the thing about Cardinal Sinn is that he does not require lube when he rapes. His great serrated cyborg penis has steel barbs that rip the soft tissue of the anal cavity, therefore the blood and puss, and even cum that is freed from it’s interior womb creates the lube itself. GWAR has actually tried to help the government find a solution to the oil spill. In fact we offered to lower Flattus’ ass onto the pipe, where he would take a gigantic shit and stop the leak, but they didn’t go for it.
Metal Exiles: The Scumdoggian Butt Plug, of course.
Oderus: Yes, indeed.
Metal Exiles: Many are calling for the head of this BP official. Should GWAR happen to obtain this man for some form of questioning, what tactics might you use to gain information as to his connection with Sinn and his regime?
Oderus: I seriously doubt that he would be able to withstand any kind of torture GWAR would inflict upon him. If we put him on the rack, he would probably die much too quickly. I reccoment first trying the comfy chair and the soft pillows. If that doesn’t work try the bulging bank account. It’s the only thing these people understand. After that, go for the designer slacks and cappucinnos.If that doesn’t do it, then you would of course have to resort to having him drawn and quartered and fed to feral pigs.
Metal Exiles: Although GWAR defend us humans only to eventually enslave us, you are still our defenders. What is GWAR’s plan to protect us from further harm at the hands of Sinn and his chronies?
Oderus: Nothing really. We’ve pretty much already kicked his ass across the galaxy, so now we are waiting to see whatever else comes along to fuck with you guys next. If we could kick our own asses, we would, but we can’t. Our main objective now is to fly around the galaxy and restock it with crack. It isn’t fair to the rest of the solar system that Earth is the only place to get fucked up.
Metal Exiles: Throughout your extensive battling with Cardinal Sinn, how many planets have been destroyed, either by GWAR as collateral damage, or by Sinn by turning them into strip malls and band camps for Christian hardcore kids?
Oderus: If you would consider turning a vibrant space community into a strip mall as being destroyed, you would be correct. I don’t have any figures in front of me at this time, but my guestamation would be a fucking lot.
Metal Exiles: On Lust in Space, you claim to be lords and masters of all you survey. What about the guys that work on the side of the road with those telescope thingies that grade land for development? Are you also lords and masters of all that they survey?
Oderus: Ah, the surveyors, yes. Those guys are actually out there surveying things for us to survey. They give us these lists of things to survey and we go survey them. So yes, we are in fact lords and masters of all we survey, especially when we are surveying surveyors. If you really want to know what it’s like seeing the world through GWAR’s eyes, next time you see one of those guys on the side of the road, run up, clobber him over the head with something and take a look into his little machine. It’s GWAR-O-Vision!
Metal Exiles: I have read many past interviews with you, and have noticed that you tend to ignore stupid questions from journalists that obviously have no idea as to what GWAR is about. How come you don’t just indulge those questions, even just to give these idiots a semblance of knowledge?
Oderus: That is the last thing I care about. Why should I put stupid journalists to peace, when they should be made to suffer? Writers who don’t do their fucking homework and study up on GWAR before an interview, I have no pity for you. If I indulged them, as you say, 99% of interviews I did would be meaningless pap. I must insist that you fucking journalists do your god damn homework.
Metal Exiles: I was to understand that the next time we met, there were supposed to be midgets with silver trays of sweet meats serving us before a great roaring fire. What happened with that?
Oderus: It all fell through at the last minute, so you will just have to settle for the greatest rock’n’roll show in the history of this pathetic planet. Now finish this interview, before I kill you and fuck your bloody corpse. Thank you.
Words and Photos by Rob”Bubbs”Harris
Metal Exiles: Thank you for taking some time away from your crack, or whatever other homoerotic shit you have planned, to chat with me.
Oderus: I never shy away from press, human. You never know, this could lead to some sort of sexual gratification in the future, or possibly a drug hook up or invitation to a barbeque. You never know where life might lead you, so why not?
Metal Exiles: A Gwar-B-Q does sound like fun.
Oderus: Well, we encourage GWAR fans to have their own GWAR-B-Q’s using the burning flesh of their own families. However, we are going to have a big party of that nature soon in a town called Richmond, which is home to one of the biggest slave pits known to this planet. I also have word that that DBX band and some group called X-Cops are going to play, but since they will probably never do this again, they will combine themselves and call it DBX-Cops. We’re all very excited about that,.….I think.
Metal Exiles: It’s been a while since we last spoke. Tell me, how is year two of the two-year twenty-fifth anniversary going?
Oderus: We aren’t even at year two yet. I refuse to believe that year one is over. It did not officially start until we put out Lust in Space, which was released in August of last year, I believe, so we are barely reaching the end of year one. Year two will be just as exciting. We plan on releasing another genius album upon you in the fall, which will usher in the second year of the anniversary celebration.
Metal Exiles: With the 25th Anniversary and Lust in Space to currently promote, how do you go about picking out set lists? That must be difficult, what with every single GWAR tune being a timeless classic.
Oderus: It is no problem at all because I know them all perfectly. We don’t need a fucking setlist! I’m so good that all I have to do is just walk out onstage and look at Balsac, and he looks back at me and instantaneously communicates the entire set list to me with one beguiling look from his roomy bloodshot eyes. It’s just that simple, and we are perfect every night. R. Kelly has nothing on me. Whitney Houston has nothing on me, except that she might be more fucked up on crack than I am.
Metal Exiles: She’s definitely up there on the list of biggest crackheads on Earth.
Oderus: I would smoke Whitney Houston if I had the chance. I don’t mean like put a pistol to her head and pull the trigger, but I would literally smoke her.
Metal Exiles: Well, if Cardinal Sinn succeeds in ridding Earth of crack, as he has done throughout the rest of the universe, you might have to resort to smoking Whitney Houston.
Oderus: It could very well come down to that, where one of the last remaining things on this planet that would get you high would be the body of Whitney Houston. You’d might have to save it, like the sacrament of a dead saint, and little bits of Whitney Houston’s body would be distributed around the world.
Metal Exiles: That could be. I think Bobby Brown would be like the brown acid in that situation. “Don’t smoke the Bobby Brown!”
Oderus: Right, and who would want to? With Whitney, people could come up and lick her skin, almost like a religious festival or something, but instead of kissing the feet of Jesus, people line up to lick Whitney Houston’s withered nub and get high as a motherfucker. With Bobby Brown, you would lick his nub and it would make you want to beat your wife.
Metal Exiles: It’ll do that. Bobby Brown seems to have that effect on people.
Oderus: Yes, he inspires violence. In the beginning, he inspired joy, love, romance and the Ghostbusters, then something took a terrible turn for the worse. Oh Bobby, we hardly knew ye.
Metal Exiles: Let’s take things down a notch shall we? With the passing of Ronnie James Dio, who was one of the last truly magical beings left, how much pressure does that pout on GWAR, knowing that the fate of the world now rests entirely on your shoulders?
Oderus: I like to refer to him as one of the last of the truly old. Many people don’t know this, but he was actually several million years old. Some think that he was actually part Scumdog, and had fallen to Earth many many centuries ago. He was indeed the embodiment of Satan and a sexual juggernaut. Between the passing of him and Pete Steele, I just don’t know what the young ladies of this planet will have to shove into their gaping vaginas now. What will they do? They don’t have Ronnie James Dio’s horse leg, nor do they have Peter Steele’s Nubian python. As far as the pressure goes, the fate of Earth has always rested on GWAR’s shoulders, we just have to work a little bit harder now. Ronnie and Pete were good at going out and boosting morale for the troops before GWAR went into battle. They were great metallic brethren, and there will be much fan fair and rejoicing as they pass on to the pimply side of Valhala. You lost some real quality there. When the guy from Slipknot died, it was tragic and all, but it was just the bass player. It doesn’t really have too much effect on the existence of the band. Ronnie and Pete were the center of their things, and it really sucks to know that they are gone. (tear)
Metal Exiles: What are your thoughts on the Christian radicals that dared to picket the memorial service of RJD?
Oderus: I think Ronnie would have loved it! I think that, if Ronnie hadn’t attracted some kind of Christian outpouring of misguided hate, he wouldn’t have been doing his job. Ronnie would probably be happy to know that he can still enrage ignorant people everywhere.
Metal Exiles: I am please to see that GWAR have finally made an official trip here to the Gulf Coast to take a look at the damage caused by the BP oil spill. Now, everybody seems to have a theory about this being some form of conspiracy. If I were to guess anything, I would say that BP was in kahoots with Sinn, and this oil spill is just a way to create extra lube for the continual rape of our planet.
Oderus: I’m not so sure about that. Yes, there is a lot of lube, but the thing about Cardinal Sinn is that he does not require lube when he rapes. His great serrated cyborg penis has steel barbs that rip the soft tissue of the anal cavity, therefore the blood and puss, and even cum that is freed from it’s interior womb creates the lube itself. GWAR has actually tried to help the government find a solution to the oil spill. In fact we offered to lower Flattus’ ass onto the pipe, where he would take a gigantic shit and stop the leak, but they didn’t go for it.
Metal Exiles: The Scumdoggian Butt Plug, of course.
Oderus: Yes, indeed.
Metal Exiles: Many are calling for the head of this BP official. Should GWAR happen to obtain this man for some form of questioning, what tactics might you use to gain information as to his connection with Sinn and his regime?
Oderus: I seriously doubt that he would be able to withstand any kind of torture GWAR would inflict upon him. If we put him on the rack, he would probably die much too quickly. I reccoment first trying the comfy chair and the soft pillows. If that doesn’t work try the bulging bank account. It’s the only thing these people understand. After that, go for the designer slacks and cappucinnos.If that doesn’t do it, then you would of course have to resort to having him drawn and quartered and fed to feral pigs.
Metal Exiles: Although GWAR defend us humans only to eventually enslave us, you are still our defenders. What is GWAR’s plan to protect us from further harm at the hands of Sinn and his chronies?
Oderus: Nothing really. We’ve pretty much already kicked his ass across the galaxy, so now we are waiting to see whatever else comes along to fuck with you guys next. If we could kick our own asses, we would, but we can’t. Our main objective now is to fly around the galaxy and restock it with crack. It isn’t fair to the rest of the solar system that Earth is the only place to get fucked up.
Metal Exiles: Throughout your extensive battling with Cardinal Sinn, how many planets have been destroyed, either by GWAR as collateral damage, or by Sinn by turning them into strip malls and band camps for Christian hardcore kids?
Oderus: If you would consider turning a vibrant space community into a strip mall as being destroyed, you would be correct. I don’t have any figures in front of me at this time, but my guestamation would be a fucking lot.
Metal Exiles: On Lust in Space, you claim to be lords and masters of all you survey. What about the guys that work on the side of the road with those telescope thingies that grade land for development? Are you also lords and masters of all that they survey?
Oderus: Ah, the surveyors, yes. Those guys are actually out there surveying things for us to survey. They give us these lists of things to survey and we go survey them. So yes, we are in fact lords and masters of all we survey, especially when we are surveying surveyors. If you really want to know what it’s like seeing the world through GWAR’s eyes, next time you see one of those guys on the side of the road, run up, clobber him over the head with something and take a look into his little machine. It’s GWAR-O-Vision!
Metal Exiles: I have read many past interviews with you, and have noticed that you tend to ignore stupid questions from journalists that obviously have no idea as to what GWAR is about. How come you don’t just indulge those questions, even just to give these idiots a semblance of knowledge?
Oderus: That is the last thing I care about. Why should I put stupid journalists to peace, when they should be made to suffer? Writers who don’t do their fucking homework and study up on GWAR before an interview, I have no pity for you. If I indulged them, as you say, 99% of interviews I did would be meaningless pap. I must insist that you fucking journalists do your god damn homework.
Metal Exiles: I was to understand that the next time we met, there were supposed to be midgets with silver trays of sweet meats serving us before a great roaring fire. What happened with that?
Oderus: It all fell through at the last minute, so you will just have to settle for the greatest rock’n’roll show in the history of this pathetic planet. Now finish this interview, before I kill you and fuck your bloody corpse. Thank you.
